Sunday, August 17, 2014

Queen of Outer Space, Dahling

Zsa Zsa Gabor stars as Telleah, the good Venusian scientist, in Edward Bernds immortal Queen of Outer Space (1958).

Unhappily, Ms. Gabor's lines do not include the word "dahling."

Some astronauts go up in a space ship to visit the space station, which is pretty prescient for 1958.

But before they get there the station gets blasted by a death ray from Venus. The ship crashes in some excellent scenery on said planet, and the crew is taken prisoner by Venusian guards with really good legs.

Venus is run by the crazy Queen Yllana, who wears a sort of masked ball thing on account of the stupid men who caused her face to be disfigured. The stupid men are on a moon, which has been converted to a slave colony.

So there's a lot of blah blah blah and it turns out Zsa Zsa and like-minded girls (who have better legs) wish to overthrow the Queen and get some men back.

But Yllana is determined to zap the Earth.

Great-looking guards and gams. Flat-screen TVs. Radiation burns. Ornate masks. Cardboard sets. Heartfelt waving goodbye to spaceship by girl in unfortunate green dress. Story by Ben Hecht, of all people. Very silly, and a lot of fun.

Three coils.

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