How To Avoid Talking Politics

I find most political discussions dreary and pointless, and I have devised a cunning strategy to get out of them. This cunning strategy is top-secret but I will let you, all 16 devoted readers of Coiled Pleasures, in on it.

At a party or gathering, A. approaches me and starts nattering about whatever it is. I listen politely and wait for a break

Then I jump in with something like this: "Of course, all this is just a smokescreen, a diversion created so you and I won't notice that the people running everything are either nine-foot tall shape-shifting reptiles from another galaxy, or their human-lizard hybrid accomplices."

Stunned into silence, A. slowly backs away, muttering something about losing his eyeglasses or getting another watercress sandwich, and soon the word spreads. Which leaves me free to find the one other person in the room who would rather talk about something — anything — else.

I absolutely guarantee this secret method.