Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Zero Woman vs. The Stupidest Gang in World History



The gang's all here, with their learning disabilities


In "Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs" ZW is a cop who entraps an evil diplomat who likes to beat up girls until they're dead.

She does this so efficiently that, by golly, the diplomat gets dead. And for this outstanding bit of public service Zero Woman gets tossed in the coop.

Zero Woman gets this guy right in the diplomatic pouch

In the meantime, this guy who looks like a horse with Greg Brady hair gets out of prison and rejoins his moron friends. Together they form the absolute worst gang of all time.

They just happen to pile out of the weeds where the Japanese president's daughter is sitting in a Datsun sedan explaining to her boyfriend why he's got to go. The gang drags her out, rapes her, and brings her home for more fun.

Then they figure out who she is and demand a ransom. Or rather, their lesbian keeper figures it out.

The government decides the only way to handle this is to get Zero Woman out of jail and let her kill everyone.

The "Zero Woman" style — lots of blood, messily

For a "pink violence" flick this one's got just enough plot to make it semi-sensible, but not so much that it detracts from the extended torture scenes, or the magic self-repairing green dress Zero Woman wears.

We're talking about a dozen breasts, including a couple you'd probably rather skip. Strangling, garroting, shooting. Seven full gallons of blood, with special emphasis on the spurting. The regrettable state of Japanese male underpants ca. 1975. Entire gang afflicted with severe leaning disabilities. Everybody dies, pretty much. Short.

Three coils.

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