Sunday, October 21, 2007

The NFL - How To Go Broke Without Really Trying (Week Seven)


Last week's modest 8-4-1 showing brought the overall season totals to the brink of wretchedness, and at 32-50-7 all is not lost.

Unless I have a couple more 4-10 weeks.

I hate to bring this up at all, but frankly, the NFL is pretty damn dull. I watched the Yale-Penn game yesterday and it was interesting - fun, even. The players don't look like The Thing From Another World (above) and they don't prance after making a tackle.

The pros are impossibly over-hyped; the games can't possibly match the hoo-hah. And the ads - the relentless, dreary onslaught of ads, ads, and more ads.


When the broadcast of a football game takes four hours something's wrong.

Anyhoo, here goes:

NYG -9 vs. SF

NYJ +6 at Cin

AZ + 8.5 at Was

Atl +8 at NO

Bal -3 at Buf

Dal -9.5 at Min

NE -16.5 at Mia

TB -2.5 at Det

Ten -1.5 at Hou

KC -2.5 at Oak

Phi -6 vs. Chi

Sea -8.5 vs. StL

Pit -3.5 at Den

Jax +3 vs. Ind

Unabashed Commercial Dept.

Your basic football fan wears a licensed jersey when he watches the game. This is in case the person whose name adorns the jersey is injured; the fan can then magically step in for, say, star running back Honolulu Jones and save the day for the Port Arthur Potzrebies.

But if you want to create the impression in a lady's mind that you are not a complete moron, even though you spend an inordinate amount of time watching football on television, try wearing something presentable, such as a shirt from Mercer and Sons, caterers to the cognoscenti.

Mercer's standard blue or white oxford cloth buttondown collared shirt, in exact neck and sleeve sizes (none of this S-M-L-XXXXXXL nonsense) are what Brooks Brothers shirts used to be: substantial, durable, and enormously comfortable. Ironed and worn with a tie they are suit-worthy; unironed and worn under a sweater they are the epitome of cool casual.

And first-time customers get a break on the price of the basic blue or white ocbd (that's oxford cloth buttondown).

Sullivan says check it out.

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