Tuesday, May 7, 2013

All Twitched Up and No Place to Go




Iron Sky (2012) is an extremely silly movie that recently got American conservatives in a snit because the President of the U.S. looks like Sarah Palin.

I only knew about this from a post on Michelle Malkin's Facebook feed, which directed me to her Twitchy website, which discusses Tweets on Twitter.

And if that not's a good reason for banning the Internet then I don't know what is.

Anyhoo, this Finnish foolishness is so dumb it shouldn't worry anybody. Seems in 1945 the Nazis were able to escape and make it to the dark side of the moon, where they set up a colony and bided their time until...

The present day, when a couple of astronauts, sent to bolster the Palin-lookalike's reelection campaign, stumble into the setup, with unfortunate results — one gets dead and the other gets bleached.

The Nazis discover the astronaut's cell phone which can power their entire death star thing — until the battery runs out.

Then it's off to Earth for some iPads and hijinks

This is a truly dumb flick — like an extended Saturday Night Live skit, with spaceships and a set designer that's into steampunk.

And no nekkidity, which is a problem.

Two coils, for annoying Twitchy people, mostly.









The Devil's Rock (2011) is much more like it. In this nasty bit of work from New Zealand's Paul Campion, a couple of British commandos land on one of the Channel Islands just prior to D-Day, to disable a big German gun and generally draw attention away from the invasion.

Seems simple enough, except when the two Tommies get to the castle they can hear all kinds of shrieking, and one of them decides to go in and check it out.

It's always a mistake to stray from the mission — especially when one of the same bunch of Nazis in charge of getting the Holy Grail is holed up inside with a female demon.

Despite the demon's habit of ripping the guts out of everybody who gets near, the Nazi still thinks he can control the gal and unleash her on the Allies.

Two demon breasts. Piles of innards, gallons of blood. Brain-eating. Incantations. Book of evil spells. No devil music. Lots of screaming. Claustrophobia. A little long.

Three coils.






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